there was something off
about the turn of my feelings for you.
as if you were the knife
i used to slice myself a door
walk into my heart and
carve carve carve.
deep in the hearth of me,
there was a reckoning made
between stone and fire.
i did not wish to hurt
the image of you, not even
with the tiniest breath
of heat...nor to betray
the stone of myself
with anything like hope.
then i was angry at myself
for loving you, until
my stone heart cracked and
the fire poured out.
deep in the cavern of me
is a coin,
flashing gold--the currency of you,
yes,
but also
something concrete
you left behind--
vanesa, i am filled
because you left me your worth.